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The Killer Bees
The Killer Bees is the seventeenth prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls series. Transcript (ringback tone) 'Woman: '''Good morning, Chelsea Florists. '''Milton: '''Oh, thank God you've answered! Let me speak to the craphead that dropped off these flowers in my hospital room! ''(EKG heart monitor sound in background) 'Woman: '''Excuse me, sir, who-who is this? Don't speak to me this way. If you have a problem, I'll be happy to handle it. '''Milton: '''I'm in the hospital! I'm here for triple bypass surgery! You can probably hear all of the medical equipment sounds in the background! '''Woman: '''Sir, what is your problem? '''Milton: '''I'm recovering! I just got out of the ICU-I had triple bypass surgery! My fat kids Chauncey and Estelle just had some flowers sent to me by you people, and I've got a bee inside my flowers from you! '''Woman: '''Excuse me, sir, we have no flowers with bees in them. '''Milton: '''Yes! Are you calling me a liar?! '''Woman: '''No, sir. I'm not calling you a liar... '''Milton: '''Yes, you are! Shut the hell up! I've- '''Woman: '''Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. Don't speak to me this way... '''Milton: '''I've got a bee in my flower! ''(bee buzzing sound) 'Milton: '''Oh! There it is! '''Woman: '''That does sound like a bee! '''Milton: '''Yes, I'm not a liar! I've got bees in my flowers! And- '''Woman: '''Sir? '''Milton: '''It just landed! '''Woman: '''What hospital are you in? '''Milton: '''Hold on a sec! I'm gonna poke through the rest of the bouquet- '''Woman: '''No, no! Don't go through the bouquet! '''Milton: '''Hold on! ''(Milton sifts through bouquet of flowers) 'Woman: '''Don't touch it, there's bees in there! '''Milton: '''There's a whole nest of bees inside! '''Woman: '''Sir, listen to me- '''Milton: '''I'm gonna poke at the nest to see if there's any more in here! '''Woman: '''No, no! Don't do that! ''(Milton angers swarm of bees from flowers) 'Milton: '''OW!!! EH! AHH!!! I got a whole swarm! '''Woman: '''Call the nurse, sir! '''Milton: '''AHHHH!!!! Holy crapamoly! '''Woman: '''Sir! '''Milton: '''You sent me the Big Sting-My-Ass-Off bouquet! OW! I'm getting stung! '''Woman: '''Sir, get under the covers! Please get under the covers! ''(Milton getting stung by bees) 'Milton: '''Wait a sec, I'm gonna get my walking cane and I'm gonna try and swat the bees! '''Woman: '''No, don't do that! ''(Milton swings his cane around his room, destroying everything BUT the bees) 'Woman: '''Sir? Sir? '''Milton: '''Oh my God! I just knocked over the tray of food! ''(Milton continues to swing his cane around) 'Milton: '''Oh! Holy crap! '''Woman: '''Don't do that! You'll get stung! '''Milton: '''Ehhh! Gonna try swatting the bees one last time! ''(Milton puts all his strength into this swing and knocks over an oxygen tank) 'Woman: '''Sir! Stop tearing up the room! Calm down! '''Milton: '''Oh my God! I knocked over an oxygen tank! '''Woman: '''Oh my God, get out of the room! '''Milton: '''I've got a leak! I've got a leak! Oh my God, there are sparks and- ''(oxygen tank explodes and sets room on fire) 'Milton: '''Ahh!!! Whoooo!!! I got a fire! '''Woman: '''Oh, holy (censored)! '''Milton: '''The whole place is on fire! '''Woman: '''Holy (censored)! '''Milton: '''Oh my God! I'm starting to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllltttttttttttttttttt.......... ''(Milton melts in the fire) (woman hangs up) (ringback tone) Trivia *Triple bypass surgery is a form of heart bypass surgery, which is done to reduce the risk of coronary artery disease-related death. Category:Prank calls